This afternoon I found myself in the music room rocking Luke, who was asleep. Gwen and Colin were playing downstairs, and as always, I had classical music on in the living room (we love classical MPR). There was this moment. A perfect moment. Copland combined with the sleeping child resting on my chest and the gentle hum of children's voices on the floor below me. I smiled to myself. I sighed. In that moment I was perfectly content. Perfectly happy.
I'm sure you can guess what happened.
It lasted for about 10 minutes ...
then ...
Luke woke up.
Mahler came on the radio. (I like Mahler, but not as much as Copland!)
Fingers got caught in a door.
The calm was over, and the craziness was upon me again!
My mom showed me a cartoon today with the punch line, "the days are slow, but the years go fast."
I've been thinking about that a lot today. I wonder how much my children will remember about the days I have spent reading, playing, singing, dancing, going on walks, cooking, and laughing with them. Even if they don't remember every detail (which is probably just fine!), I hope that the days and moments that we share will help shape them into caring and compassionate adults.
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I have that feeling too... That even if they don't remember the day to day details, the time you spend with them now reading and playing has a huge effect on what kind of adult they become.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about those memories myself in the last few days. My babies will both have birthdays in the next 2 weeks, 25 and 23 years old. My baby girls have grown into beautiful, confident, caring young women that have many memories of music, books and all those "daily" activities they did with Mom. Keep doing what you are doing Claire because they will remember even when they are all grownup and living on their own. The days are gone in a flash!
ReplyDeleteHaving children in the 26 to 32 range I am surprised at some of the things that they remember. However, as I continue to age there is not a day that goes by that I don't wish for some of those younger years - the peace and the chaos! Savor them all and when the noise gets too loud call a grandparent. Sharla
ReplyDeleteI recently read an essay by Micheal Chabon where he compares the plethora of precious moments and days with our kids to the multitudes of artwork they drag home from day care and scrawl out at home. We can't keep it all, we have to throw some of that art away, even though each piece of paper with a single crayon mark is somehow beautiful because it was our child who scrawled it. So too do we forget to cherish all those beautiful moments we live each day. (It made me feel better for hiding some of Marieme's art in the garbage, for not writing more about her early years--there is just so MUCH glory with them!)
ReplyDeleteIts really something that you put those thoughts to words because I was thinking the same thing as I was rocking Julianne tonight. How will my daily choices with them affect their lives in the future? I know how my parents have shaped my life. They poured so much love into me--and I feel that I am passing on that legacy to my own children. What a wonderful gift! I, too have learned to laugh in the chaotic times and smile during the short, calm times! Thanks for putting those feelings and questions into words!
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